The Soundtrack of My Life, Track #2

One Song at a Time. Each with a Story of Pain, Passion, and Love.

My daughter, who is 19 now, was and continues to be my mini-me in many ways. She is a sensitive, old soul who is empathetic, artistically creative, careful of who she allows in her life, a bit of a tomboy, and an idiosyncratic nonconformist.

The day she was born, my dad told me she was karma coming to kick me in the ass.

Adversely, she was also a divergent student in school, at odds with the educational system that did not nurture her discovery of the world in the way that she learns, and becomes easily agitated by the selfish and unjust behavior of humans, steadily wondering why no one thinks of other people any longer.

She is impulsive and carries the encumbrance of an anxious attachment style, like me, and is opinionated but outspoken with toughness, which I have never been and I admire in her. Her narcissistic father, whom I was married to for 18 years, stole that strength in me, along with my self-worth, confidence, and will to live sober.

After our divorce, he began to turn his manipulation and cruel mouth on my daughter. He had to hurt someone to make himself feel better, and I wasn’t around anymore, so he took his animosity out on her. I found my voice then, and it was loud. It was painfully honest and direct. I spared no word that needed to be spoken. My voice, alongside hers and unfeigned, spoke out against his maltreatment - my past and her present.

It’s amazing how the love for your children can make you steamroll your own fears to protect them from harm.